


Loving You is as Easy as Breathing

by jaeminim



Series: an insight to the softest nct ship: markhyuckmin [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Seasonal Affective Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 10:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17139800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeminim/pseuds/jaeminim
Summary: Donghyuck hates winter. He hates the cold and the shorter days and how the weather seems to drain him of energy. He tires quicker and all he wishes for is the summer warmth to return.





	Loving You is as Easy as Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> for: jehan [ [@tiny_burn](https://twitter.com/tiny_burn) on twitter ] ( please check out his amazing art !! )
> 
> merry christmas and blessed yule everyone !!

It’s five in the evening by the time Donghyuck manages to trudge home, head pounding with every step he takes, the lights of the hallway leading to his flat in the cold apartment complex making his eyes ache with their intensity. He’s tired, exhausted really, as he mindlessly paws at his jacket, pulling it off before opening the door. Jaemin’s already home if the sound of the television is anything to go by. Donghyuck mumbles a small “hello” after closing the door and placing his shoes neatly on the shoe rack and makes a beeline for his room.

 

His room is cold, that’s the first thing he notices, the next is that he left his window open and the harsh wind from outside is pretty much biting into his exposed forearms, ruffling his already messy hair into a more unruly state. The pounding in his head starts sharpening, close to being pinpricks of pain dotting along the bridge of his nose and behind his eyes as the window is finally,  _ finally _ , shut and he’s gently nudged with an elegant finger in the direction of the bathroom. It’s Jaemin if the dainty kiss pressed onto his nape is any indication to go by. The warm touch is enough to give him a small semblance of reality and the next time he manages to reorient himself it’s when he’s done with his shower, face slightly pink from the hot water and he’s dressed in his pyjamas, his hair wrapped up in a towel as he’s heavily applying moisturiser onto his face. He catches himself blinking owlishly at himself, hand frozen on his face, stuck midway through the rotation on his skin. With a sigh, he continues rubbing the product onto his face until he’s satisfied and the pink on his face gives way to his naturally bronzed skin that has already begun to pale in the late autumn lighting.

 

He’s more clear-headed than he was when he first got home as he walks back to the living room where Jaemin’s on the couch, supposedly reading a book, but he knows that Jaemin isn’t actually reading, rather staring blankly at the pages, due to worrying about Donghyuck, and shit, he has no idea how long he spent in the bathroom, having forgotten to look at his watch. The headache that once plagued him seems to have faded to an annoying buzz at the back of his head that he’s pretty sure will be cured by cuddles from Jaemin as he walks over and gently lays his head on Jaemin’s lap, the younger immediately letting go of the book in his grasp, flinging it onto the coffee table in front of them.  _ well, that was dramatic _ . His thought process is stopped when Jaemin readjusts them so he’s lying comfortably on his back and hyuck is curled up next to him, towel-wrapped head resting on Jaemin’s tummy as the younger pulls the towel off his head, throwing it next to the book before reaching behind him to grab a blanket. Even before the blanket reaches his body, he knows which blanket it is. The soft and worn material feels like home against his cheek as he grabs at Jaemin’s, which is slightly rough underneath his hands.

 

At that point, he realises how sensitive he is of his surroundings. Despite having memorised every inch of Jaemin’s face, he still intently looks at the delicate features of his face, such as his eyelashes and how his eyes are hooded as he takes in Donghyuck’s shadowed appearance with a similar intensity. He can feel the weight of the blanket on his body, the soft fluff caressing his face with a gentleness that can only be rivalled by Jaemin’s. Soft hands raise slightly to find purchase in his drying hair, petting it down and combing the soft locks away from his face. There’s a special tenderness to the action that he can only describe as Jaemin as he nuzzles into the blanket separating him from Jaemin’s sweater. He can feel every singular thread on the blanket and how each presses against his face as Jaemin’s fingers continue running through his hair.

 

The ministrations stop as Jaemin leans backwards to pick something up, and the next second something soft is gently prodded against his lips. He tentatively darts his tongue out to taste what exactly Jaemin placed on his lips and compliantly opens his mouth at the sugary taste of mini-marshmallows and allows Jaemin to place two in his mouth before his mouth closes and he lets the sweets melt in his mouth, savouring the sweet taste; there’s an underlying hint of chocolate and he smiles because it’s such a Jaemin thing to feed him the marshmallows in his hot chocolate. Closing his eyes, he allows himself to reminisce about how he’d always pout and whine for the marshmallows in Jaemin’s hot cocoa, and how Jaemin would be complacent and place them one by one between his lips. Two more of the squishy sweets are placed against his lips and this time he’s chewing them, a soft smile on his face.

 

He opens his eyes and is immediately met with Jaemin’s entranced gaze. They’re looking right into each others’ eyes as the serenity of the moment is shattered and he’s reminded of the day, not that anything particular had happened to ruin his day. He thinks of the cold outside and the darkness that floods Seoul when he’s used to more sunlight and the warmth of summer. He thinks of Jaemin holding him, looking at him with so much love and adoration, willing to expend so much energy, bending to his every whim and dear God he doesn’t deserve Jaemin. He doesn’t deserve Mark either, the one who listens to him in the middle of the night, who calms him down from his nightmares because he’s the only one awake and is hyper-aware of everything pertaining to the loves of his life. The only thing he can think of is how he burdens both Jaemin and Mark, how his energy drops during the winter months and his performance in everything drops, how he begins to go to bed as early as the sunset when he would usually sleep around two in the morning, watching Mark write and proofread his work, all the while sipping on a carton of chocolate milk, swinging his legs as he watched his lover’s face scrunch up when language refused to make sense to him.

 

Jaemin and Mark, he loves them so, so much, the two that he devotes his life to. He remembers waiting for Jaemin to come home after the younger went out with friends, only to have him return just as the sun began to rise. The memory is fresh in his mind because Jaemin looked absolutely  _ ruined _ with his makeup smudged all over his face, in a way that would’ve only happened if he slept, and it was quite obvious that Jaemin hadn’t actually gone out with friends but stayed overnight in the labs, definitely falling asleep in the process of whatever he was doing as well. Jaemin had withdrawn to the confines of their room and promptly curled up in Donghyuck’s embrace as the elder wiped the residue of makeup off of Jaemin’s face gently, throwing the makeup wipe onto the bedside table, for that was an issue  _ after _ they woke up.

 

He remembers Mark clenching his fists tightly at his reading material in front of him. Mark had flipped through the entire booklet at least twice, and with each page turned, the frustration developed on his features. He remembers leaning over, unclenching his fists, weaving his fingers through Mark’s, to which he reacted by tightly squeezing Donghyuck’s hands as the younger pressed kisses onto his forehead, cheeks and nose before finally landing on his lips. Donghyuck remembers that night as the night Mark kissed him silly and replays the way how Mark let go of his hands and slid them around his waist and nape, kissing him ever so gently, but drawing it out and leaving him a blushing mess.

 

There’s a lot of things that he remembers, of him taking care of Jaemin and Mark, of them taking care of him. He remembers his lows and highs and how fortunate he was to have Jaemin and Mark with him through them all.

 

He doesn’t realise that tears are slipping down his face until Jaemin cups his face, holding him every so tenderly. Jaemin’s gaze has not changed in intensity, ever the same burning gaze filled with love and adoration, however now tinted with small concern and empathy. Even though Donghyuck can barely see through the tears in his eyes, he can feel Jaemin press kisses onto his wet cheeks and  _ oh _ , he’s kissing the tears away. his breath hitches with every gentle press of lips against his skin and his mind screams at itself to  _ stop crying _ but he can’t, he physically cannot stop the onslaught of tears that threaten to drown him as Jaemin holds his face with that stupid tenderness kissing away his tears with his goddamn chapped lips, and he especially cannot stop crying when Jaemin presses Donghyuck’s face against his collarbone and pulls him under his blanket as well.

 

He doesn’t know for how long he cried, all he knows is that Jaemin’s holding him whispering  _ it’s okay _ and  _ I love you _ over and over again and Donghyuck believes it, he knows it’s true; Jaemin stayed because he  _ loves  _ him and Donghyuck fucking loves him back just as much and he’s extremely grateful for such an attentive boyfriend.

 

As the last of his sobs level out into whimpers that are soon silenced as well, Jaemin wipes his face free of any dampness from his tears and places a firm yet gentle kiss onto his lips before kissing the crown of his head and Donghyuck honest to God would’ve burst into another round of tears if he had the energy to, because Jaemin had been holding his hand firmly and that gesture alone had his resolve crumbling on most days.

 

They get up because Donghyuck’s congested and he feels like shit with his nose stuffed, so Jaemin leaves him to go clean up by walking towards the kitchen to fix up a drink for both of them.

 

When he looks in the mirror for the second time that night, Donghyuck’s face is redder than it was before and he softly smiles to himself before splashing his face with cold water. He doesn’t feel better in the sense that he’d be jumping up and down within the next ten seconds but rather in the sense that he’s clear-headed to know what he’s doing and wow he loves Na Jaemin with all his heart.

 

He ends up aimlessly walking through their apartment while waiting for Jaemin to call him over to the kitchen and as he walks through the minimalistic hallway he realises just how well Jaemin and Mark’s personal tastes match, because for Jaemin’s blues and greys there was Mark’s silver and dark wood, and the black and white that was a given; his personal taste, however, was a stark contrast to both his lovers’, with his yellows and greens, but it worked out. It seemed to be an apt metaphor for their lives, Mark and Jaemin matched in the most inexplicable way possible and Donghyuck, despite being so different, still fits in comfortably with the equation and has the best boyfriends he could ever ask for.

 

When Jaemin finally calls him over, he slides over into the kitchen, sleep clouding his eyes at the welcoming warmth of the room, and proceeds to slump against Jaemin’s shoulder, arms coming to wrap around his boyfriend’s waist and if he was being honest, he would’ve been able to sleep in that position, except he never gets the chance to contemplate the idea because Jaemin swivels him around and places him on a high stool and his heart skips a beat out of sheer terror because he fucking forgets how strong Jaemin actually is and that he’s capable of picking hyuck up without any extra effort.

 

He’s pretty sure he looks like a deer caught in headlights as Jaemin looms over him with that signature smile of his and whispers a “cute” in Donghyuck’s ear and all it does is raise the temptation of wiping that smile off Jaemin’s goddamn lips because  _ fuck off he’s not meant to be this cute _ . In the end, he settles on pouting and looking away petulantly and to him, it’s perfectly justified by his fatigue. Jaemin indulges him in one final kiss before motioning towards the slightly cooled tea with his own mug filled with coffee.

 

He takes a sip of the hot liquid and feels it running down his throat, warming him up; he’s always the one to get cold easily. The clink of Jaemin’s mug being put down causes him to look up, coming eye to eye with eyes full of starlight. He loves Jaemin’s eyes, the way that unadulterated fire burns through them, leaving him warm and loved down to the very core. It’s when Jaemin grasps his hand that hyuck allows himself to chuckle. Jaemin’s hold is firm, yet always gentle enough for his hand to come loose if he were to slightly pull away. He intertwines their fingers, lacing them together over and over again, a small smile on his lips. Donghyuck adores how it takes the smallest gestures to make Jaemin happy, even if he’s not on the receiving end. Jaemin’s a people-pleaser, yet no one would need any reason to dislike him in the first place. He’s a gentle soul, sitting down on the floor while watching his little sister, Haeun, dance to whatever new Kpop song.

 

Hyuck’s fondest memory probably has to be when Haeun had stayed over for a weekend, leaving three university students squabbling around to finish all their work early on a Friday night. He remembers how Jaemin spun Haeun around to a waltz, the height difference between the two making the whole scene cuter. That night, Haeun had slept in her brother’s embrace, curled up into his chest in the pillow fort that she had insisted they build, and seeing Jaemin like that convinced him of one thing: he’s irrevocably and absolutely enamoured by and in love with Na Jaemin, and it’s okay, because Na Jaemin isn’t someone you can’t love.

 

Loving Jaemin is as easy as blinking, it’s natural and personal and he counts himself lucky to even be living in the same time period as Jaemin, forget having Jaemin love him back.

 

He knows that he’s being unhelpful, drowning in his thoughts and memories as Jaemin nudges him slightly again, a silent reminder to continue drinking his tea. The cup is half empty and he sighs to himself, he really needs to get it together, but in the warmth of the kitchen, Jaemin holding his hand while rubbing soothing circles into the skin, he finds himself thinking about the domesticity of the action and how they probably look like fools from an outside perspective, now, the only thing missing is Mark.

 

He lifts his head to look at the clock right above the door and lets out a huff of disappointment into his tea. It’s nearing eight and Mark’s not meant to be home any earlier than eight thirty. Jaemin chuckles at his mannerisms and lets go of his hand to pick up both their cups and gets up to rinse them in the sink. Donghyuck watches with lovesick eyes as Jaemin rinses the cups, watching how his wrists turn as he flicks the cups, water sloshing in them, and turns them upside down to drain before placing them next to the sink to dry further.

 

“  _ C’mon, let’s go watch something. _ ” It’s the first thing he hears today that isn’t muddled nor sounds like he’s underwater and he smiles at Jaemin, it’s one of  _ his  _ smiles, albeit slightly muted due to fatigue, grabbing onto his forearm as Jaemin half-drags him to the living room. They fall onto the couch on top of each other again and flounder around for a few seconds to get comfortable and finally, they do and Jaemin takes the opportunity to place a soft kiss on one of hyuck’s collarbones, causing the elder to giggle and poke his stomach in retaliation. He’s kissed in return, with a series of tiny little pecks against his lips, and Jaemin pulls him into his embrace, mumbling a soft  _ I love you  _ into his ear and yeah, hyuck could get used to all this affection, now if only Mark fucking Lee was home so he could shower  _ him  _ in kisses, despite the eldest’s general aversion to skinship, but he guesses he’s okay with resting his head on Jaemin’s chest, for now, aimlessly running his fingers across Jaemin’s collarbones.

 

They end up watching The Little Prince and are a quarter way through the movie when the main door opens and both boys raise their heads to look up at the person who just walked through the door, and there in all his glory stood Mark Lee, looking at them both with a disgusting, sappy look in his eyes.

 

“  _ Mark! _ ” and he’s on his feet, having jumped over the couch, running towards stupidly lovable, smart and endearingly annoying Mark Lee,  _ his  _ Mark Lee. Mark barely catches him in time, skidding slightly backwards to accommodate for the force that hyuck leapt on him with.

“  _ Hi baby,  _ “ and dear  _ God _ hyuck wants to kiss his stupid mouth shut. He’s in love with this dingus so much it fucking hurts and the fact that Mark’s arms are the only thing keeping him from meeting the floor is akin to adding salt to a wound.

 

Mark doesn’t end up being kissed senseless by hyuck in the middle of the hallway because hyuck’s picked up from Mark’s embrace and is placed back on his feet, Jaemin wrapping both of them in a hug. The moment lasts for approximately a minute before Mark pulls away to discard his shoes and sweater. Hyuck whines at the loss of contact as he watches Mark’s retreating figure mumble something about taking a shower. Now, the rational part of him understands that Mark would like to feel refreshed but the clingy part of him doesn’t and he’s stuck dejectedly looking at the corridor which Mark disappeared through for half a minute before recomposing himself and pulling Jaemin back into the living room.

 

They watch the movie in silence for around half an hour before hyuck begins to get antsy, leg bouncing as he’s leaning against Jaemin, who laces their fingers together for a split second, letting go almost immediately. It’s the confirmation he needs to go looking for Mark and he’s mildly surprised and very concerned that Mark Lee’s only wearing black sweatpants and a thin white button-up shirt when their window is  _ open _ . Belatedly he realises that the window’s meant to be  _ closed  _ as Mark looks at him and smiles, arms extending to either side, waiting for him to run into his embrace and hyuck wastes no time in walking into Mark’s hold. He’s face to face with Mark, and from here he can make out every single detail of Mark’s face under the dim lights of their room. Mark’s a completely different type of beauty fresh out of a shower, with his hair swept up away from his face and his eyes shining with their own clarity. 

 

One moment they’re staring into each others’ eyes, and the next they’re kissing. Mark’s arms snake around his waist and shoulders, holding him in place as he leaves long, meaningful kisses on hyuck’s lips. Mark’s touch is cold, and his hair is even colder as hyuck runs his hands through the damp strands. The only thing he can think of is Mark, how Mark’s hands feel on his skin, how Mark’s lips feel against his and the gentleness that he’s being kissed senseless with. He feels like he’s floating, on cloud nine as Mark kisses him with so much love. They part after a while and Mark’s hands come to cup his face, pressing one last sweet kiss onto his swollen lips before one of his hands slide down to hold hyuck’s.

 

If loving Jaemin was as natural as breathing, then loving Mark Lee is like swimming in cold water on a hot summer day; it’s a foreign, yet very welcome, feeling.

 

He allows Mark to pull him into the living room where the movie’s paused and Jaemin’s looking at them from his spot on the couch.

 

“  _ Mark hyung~  _ “ the way Jaemin draws out the honorific has Donghyuck smiling like a lovesick fool as Mark lets go of his hand to walk up to Jaemin and leave the softest trace of a kiss on his lips, to which Jaemin responds to with a loud smack pressed onto Mark’s cheek and a cheeky wink sends hyuck into a fit of chuckles as Mark’s face contorts into one of mild disgust while Jaemin beams in victory.

 

Dinner that night consists of pizza and garlic bread that they very lazily ordered online and is accompanied by the rest of the movie.

 

As they’re getting ready for bed, Jaemin comes up to hyuck and presses another kiss onto his face, on the mole underneath his left eye and hyuck positively melts at the gesture, heart soaring as Jaemin brushes his hair out of his face, giving him one last smile before all but launching himself at Mark, who’s sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at his boyfriends with a fond expression. Mark lets out a squeak of terror as he’s flat-out pinned against the mattress under Jaemin, who immediately slides off him and instead, wraps his legs around Mark’s waist and hyuck laughs at how the tallest of them all is the biggest baby.

 

They mess around for a while, and hyuck smacks Mark’s reading material out of his hands immediately as he notices its presence, muttering a “ threatening ”  _ I swear to God Mark Lee, you just dare pick that up and you’ll be sleeping on the couch for the week _ and is pleased when Mark responds by ruffling his hair and does not make any movement to pick up the booklet from its place on the floor.

 

That night, he falls asleep curled into Jaemin’s hold, feeling infinitely better than he had in the morning. There’s a soft voice in the back of his head that mutters how when he wakes up tomorrow the cycle will repeat and he’ll be back to feeling shitty, but for now, he quells that voice as sleep finally overtakes him as he’s wrapped in the arms of one of his lovers, the other resting his head on his back.

 

When morning comes, he’s disheartened to see that Jaemin’s gone, before remembering that he only has a lecture today and will be back before noon. Hyuck falls back into bed and looks Mark in the eye, whispering a quiet  _ hey  _ into the tranquil silence of their bedroom and Marks lips split into a wide smile. Mark lazily extends an arm to collect him in his embrace and hyuck feels Mark’s cheek press against the top of his head and he holds back a smile. It’s moments like these that he treasures with Mark, keeping them safe in his heart.

 

Mark’s gone when Jaemin arrives home and he’s just about to leave himself. He’s busy attempting to wear his shoes with his phone precariously dangling out of his pocket. His laptop is nearly slipping out of his grasp as he finally manages to shove his feet into the soft leather and when he finally uncrouches to straighten himself up a bit, the door opens to Jaemin dressed in simple jeans and a white v-neck jumper. Jaemin pulls him into a hug, pressing a lingering kiss on his temple, mumbling a soft  _ be careful _ into his ear and hyuck leaves their apartment wondering what he did in a past life to deserve  _ both  _ Jaemin and Mark.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk what you think uwu !!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/nanashyuckie) // [cc](https://curiouscat.me/nanashyuckie)  
> 


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